I always believe that our life revolves around the world, and not vice versa.
Now.. I am pretty sure if I clearly hear a lot of sounds that may disagree about that. Trust me, readers.. it’s been so long that I become a control freak. I never let anything ruin my beautiful package of plannings. Not even a single thing.
I used to be a person who will count every detail. Every backup plan. Every possibility. I used to be (as they may say) a perfectionist person who will set the highest standards, in which I even make myself exhausted to reach those standards.
Does it sound pathetic?
Because at that time, I always believed that life never takes for granted, but the efforts. I also believed that luck always comes to those who prepared. That’s why in such conditions, I never blamed those who might see me as a monster, who will not expect any failure.
But, life is not life until they’re not teasing us little bit. They played a trick. They played a mysterious game.
Not only a single time, but also many times I faced my disappointment, dissatisfaction, and being hurt.
Then, who did I blame?
No one, except my imperfection plannings.
Except the imperfection of my thoughts.
Next, I will always come up with another detail, another planning. I did not stop even I have been pushed to the edge of limitations. Life is a race, and I was the only driver controlling my vehicle.
I, totally forgot if I am the only tiny creature in this massive power of universe. I forgot if God-that I believe in-can do anything on this little human. I forgot when God open and close the doors, it must have the reasons.
The reasons which I failed to understand. The reasons that I just ignored.
Then again, life is not getting better afterwards (at least I noticed it like that). No peaceful hearts. Nor calming minds. No matter how hard I try to distract it, I found nothing. I always ended up with a missing part which I did not know exactly what was that. Now.. let’s use the word “pathetic”.
Fortunately, I was saved. I dared to admit if this life isn’t mine, and never belongs to me–no matter how hard I try. This life is only a stage, that I am as the actor and God is as the Director. All the plannings, expectations, dreams never ever been real without the permission of God (or whatever power you would like to believe). Sadly (although it is true), that you are just a human who had been designed with the limitations and feelings. You can break the fate with all of your efforts and hopes, but no one can beat the reality. It is what it is. Whatever will be, it will be. Keep your dreams as high as the sky, but never forget that the acceptance of reality is the key to have the peaceful heart and minds. One thing for sure, life is never cruel. Because it always comes in balance: happiness and sadness happen simultaneously. Everything shall pass. Everything enriches you. Everything is a gift. Be grateful.
PS: Don’t worry, people. I am not trying to be your trainer of life. Find your own way though.