“Sometimes, I never wish the easy stuffs” I said it boldly when we had an usual conversation after the class. You seemed little bit surprised, and then looked at me intensively with the face was fulled of why.
“Don’t get me wrong. It does not mean that I do not respect the simple ones, but maybe because I am a simply competitive bitch. The more complicated a thing, the more challenge that I am motivated to conquer. And I am very happy when I can do such difficult stuff while others give up for that” I kept talking without a break as usual, in which I believed that you already get used to it.
“Interesting” You replied within a long pause.
“Because I also do the same” and then you continued.
I did not know why I came up with this thought, but the “I-also-do-the-same” sounded dubious for me at that time.
Later, I found that I was right.
I was right that you were doubt at that time.
I was right if I actually was doubt as well.
Our case, the unsual connection between you and me were getting more complicated than it used to be. I never been sure that I can find any possible solutions to overcome such huge differences between us. I know, if the religion and culture are somewhat overrated topics, but it just happened in that way. This case, was officially as the first difficult stuff that I cannot conquer. It was beyond my efforts. It was beyond your limits.
That is why, as the time goes by, I do not want to have a wish for the difficult ones anymore. I do not care about being a competitive bitch or whatsoever. Simply, when we’ll meet again in the future, I will only give you a simple smile (without “a hello” or “how are you” thingy). An experience was more than enough to give me such a strong message. An experience has been printed in my head, that some time in the past, I ever let my heart to be broken.